


thank you for being on my side

by hyunjoom



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Cute, Established Relationship, Light Angst, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Texting, can you tell i’m going through it, good friend hongjoong, good friends wooyoung jongho and yunho, hahaha, hongjoong gives okay advice, lots of hugging, yeosang is down and seonghwa is sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-17
Updated: 2019-10-17
Packaged: 2020-12-17 02:28:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21046793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyunjoom/pseuds/hyunjoom
Summary: [yeosang 10:31 pm]hi. need your support right now. having a terrible week and badly missing you. my roommate caught something from his girlfriend and passed it on to me. please cheer me up. how was your week? anything entertaining happening? i miss you.





	thank you for being on my side

**Author's Note:**

> is this a fic about seongsang utilizing one of ateez’s beautiful new songs, thank u, for the title? yes.  
is this a fic that’s actually 100% about me and everything about yeosang is me projecting my feelings onto his character? absolutely yes.  
ive have writers block for so long but this was inspired by an actual text i sent my mom lol so i hope u enjoy this lil spew of feelings !!

**[yeosang 10:31 pm] ** _ hi. need your support right now. having a terrible week and badly missing you. my roommate caught something from his girlfriend and passed it on to me. please cheer me up. how was your week? anything entertaining happening? i miss you._

seonghwa’s heart drops as he reads the message a third time. yeosang almost never texts like this, so seonghwa can’t imagine what he is going through to actually push him to reach out for support. seonghwa loves his boyfriend, but yeosang can be extremely stubborn and overly proud. 

he wants to text back _ what’s wrong? _or some variation of the question to figure out what’s troubling yeosang so deeply, but it isn’t the time or place. he doesn’t want to exploit yeosang’s vulnerability. instead, he types out some words of encouragement. 

**[seonghwa 10:36 pm] > ** _ Hi. I love you. Take the proper time you need to rest up so you can start feeling better. My week has been pretty decent, I had that research paper due in biology today so I was cramming it last night. Some guy was crying to Toxic by Britney Spears in the study room next to mine lol. I was at work for almost all of my free time today and it’s been uneventful. Text me whenever you can, okay? Don’t feel obligated but know anything you say is 1000% welcome. I love you and I miss you badly as well._

seonghwa waits in silence, sitting up in bed in his dark, empty room. his own roommate, hongjoong, has late hours as an over-achieving music major, but seonghwa doesn’t mind. he’s nice and caring and usually brings seonghwa leftovers every time he goes out to eat, so seonghwa can’t complain. he jumps when he feels his phone vibrate with a new notification. 

**[yeosang 10:37] ** _ lol i’m the guy in the study room _

**[yeosang 10:37] ** _ no but what gets u to that point? crying to one of britney’s greatest hits? _

**[yeosang 10:37] ** _ glad you got your research paper done. thanks for listening _

**[yeosang 10:37] ** _ goodnight hwa love you i’ll call u tomorrow_

seonghwa sends one more _ i love you _in response before locking his phone and setting it down on the table next to his bed. he’d do anything just for yeosang to be honest and open about everything, especially concerning his feelings and emotions. seonghwa knows it isn’t a topic yeosang often spoke about growing up, either pushing it aside or ignoring its presence altogether. 

more than anything, seonghwa longs to see yeosang and hold him in his arms. seonghwa has only ever seen yeosang cry twice in the three years they’ve known each other, but he likes to think he knows the younger well enough to be able to tell when he needs to cry. yeosang would probably resent that he _ needs _ to cry at all, and seonghwa would assure him that he knows it’s not a conscious choice, rather one he can’t help. 

it’s early enough in the year that seonghwa hasn’t seen yeosang in person once since they each moved an hour and a half away from their hometown in opposite directions at the start of the fall semester. 

an uncharacteristic idea forms in seonghwa’s head as he pulls his laptop from where it’s stashed in his bag next to the bed and opens it, squinting at the harsh blue toned light spreading into the room. 

seonghwa opens his email and types his professor’s name into the address bar. it’s thursday night and he only has one class on fridays, and he hasn’t missed it yet. 

_Professor Dixon, _

_ Unfortunately I think I’ve caught a strain of the flu from my roommate. It's in everyone’s best interest that I do not attend class tomorrow. If there are any assignments I’ll be missing, please do let me know so I can catch up before class next week. _

_ Thank you, _

_ Seonghwa Park _

dixon is relatively forgiving when it comes to missing classes, seonghwa has gathered, and it’s definitely worth missing to get in his car tomorrow morning to be able to meet yeosang for lunch instead of just calling him. 

shutting his laptop and sliding it underneath his bed, seonghwa turns over with a giddy feeling in his chest, but his exhaustion is too strong not to overcome his excitement. he’s pulling into a sleep stage, a soft smile on his face as he imagines seeing yeosang soft hair and squishy cheeks in person again.

❧

a flurry of spontaneous trip induced panic and indecision clouds seonghwa’s mind the next morning, pacing around the small kitchen as hongjoong eats breakfast. both are alarmingly awake for the early hour of the day, but hongjoong’s almost off to work and seonghwa is beginning to intensely second guess his decision to meet yeosang at his university. 

“i think it’s really sweet,” his roommate assured him. “a sweet little weekend visit. if i’ve figured anything out about your enigma of a boyfriend, yeosang’ll love it.”

seonghwa distraughtly melts into the seat next to hongjoong. he wants to defend yeosang and refute the term ‘enigma’ but there are bigger problems at hand. “what if he doesn’t want to see me? i’d look like such a dick for just assuming he wants to see me.” and what if he’s busy? what if he’s mad at seonghwa for trying to surprise him because he already had weekend plans? should seonghwa have told him his plan in advance?

hongjoong sighs, pushing his bowl of cereal aside to prop his head up with his hand and face seonghwa. “look, he said he badly misses you. he _ wants _you to cheer him up!” hongjoong quotes, face animated as he tries to convince seonghwa. “even if he doesn’t want to talk to you about what’s going on, at least you’ll be able to eat together and maybe fuck. he won’t turn that down, i’m sure.”

nodding along half-heartedly, seonghwa psychs himself up for the trip. it’s not the greatest advice, but it has somewhat done the trick. “yeah, you’re probably right. good luck in the studio, i’m gonna go pack.”

“_probably _ right?” seonghwa hears as he retreats, laughing to himself as hongjoong continues. “it’s food and sex and _ college students, _of course i’m right.”

he starts feeling better about the whole thing by the time he’s on the road, bag packed with a weekend’s worth of clothes plus some hygiene products. seonghwa still can’t decide whether or not he should text yeosang and warn him, maybe call and ask what he’s doing this weekend. 

it’s all settled now, though. seonghwa is already forty minutes out and he can’t be bothered to turn around. if he breaks down enough, he’ll turn it into a trip home to see his family. 

yeosang, true to his word, calls him around the hour and a half mark in his drive. seonghwa has passed his home, too late to change his mind and derail his own trip. he shuts off the music he had playing to answer the call. 

“hi,” comes yeosang’s voice, cheerier than seonghwa had expected. “i know you have class in half an hour, and so do i, but i just wanted to talk for a second. like, real voices and everything.”

seonghwa checks the time on his dashboard, surprised to see his class is starting soon. he can’t lie to yeosang when he sounds so sweet. “actually… i’m not going to my class today.”

“oh?” yeosang replies, an air of worry etched into his tone. “are you okay? you’re not getting sick, are you?”

“i’m fine,” seonghwa replies easily. the sky is a marvelous shade of blue and the sun is shining bright, harsh light dimmed by a few stray clouds. “actually, i feel great.”

yeosang hums thoughtfully, sounding almost upset. “why aren’t you going to class then? you always talk me into going to class when i can, so i’ll do it for you too.”

“yeosang.” seonghwa can’t help the smile from stretching across his face. it’s something about the nice weather, or maybe yeosang’s voice over the phone. “do you have lunch plans? what are you doing this weekend?”

“why?” yeosang asks skeptically. “i was just gonna grab something from the dining hall, and i don’t have anything planned for the weekend yet. let’s talk about your class.”

“i can’t go to class,” seonghwa tells him definitively. “i’m not on campus.” it’s entertaining for seonghwa to drag the reveal out this long. “um.. i’m coming to see you.”

there’s a shuffle of noises on the other end of the line, one being a prominent thud, followed by a swoosh of air. “sorry, i dropped my phone,” yeosang responds, voice warped in a way seonghwa knows is him trying to be casual. 

seonghwa laughs, asking if the phone is okay. 

“yeah, it just fell on my couch, but you’re coming to see me?” yeosang asks, all in one breath. “you’re skipping your class to come see me?”

“i am,” seonghwa resounds smugly at the way yeosang can’t hide his excitement or fondness. “i’m halfway there now.”

yeosang laughs happily, a sound that will never fail to make seonghwa’s heart flutter. “seonghwa! now i’m too excited i don’t want to go to my class!”

“you have to,” seonghwa reasons. “and i’ll be there by the time you’re done.” 

❧

the last thirty minutes of the trip are the longest. it’s not a long drive at all, not comparatively, but seonghwa misses being near yeosang, misses even just being on the phone with him. part of him wishes yeosang had skipped his class just so that he could talk to him for the remainder of the trip. 

he finally makes it to campus, parking in the university complex down the street from yeosang’s building. the younger had texted him a few minutes before to let him know he’d gotten out of class early and would be waiting in the lobby to let him in. 

seonghwa makes a quick walk from the garage to yeosang’s building, following his feet by memory from the times he’s visited in previous years. as he rounds the corner, yeosang’s face becomes visible through the windows and seonghwa smiles widely as he sends yeosang a text saying he made it. 

he watches as yeosang’s head snaps up, looking out the window curiously before locking his eyes onto seonghwa, jumping up to let him inside. 

it’s not in yeosang’s behavior to make this a tacky or emotional reunion, so seonghwa isn’t expecting what comes next.

before seonghwa can make it into the lobby itself, yeosang throws himself against him in the doorway, tucking himself against his chest and winding his arms around seonghwa’s waist. seonghwa just drops his bag and embraces his boyfriend, one hand reaching up to the back of yeosang’s head to cradle it against his neck and the other firmly wrapped around his torso. 

they stand there like that until someone says “excuse me” to get around them, and only then do they break apart for yeosang to lead seonghwa the rest of the way inside. 

“you didn’t have to come all this way,” yeosang says, voice small, when they finally get into an elevator. 

“i wanted to,” seonghwa replies, unable to stop smiling or look away from yeosang. “how was your class?” 

yeosang shrugs, looking down at the floor to avert his gaze from seonghwa’s. the elevator stops on yeosang’s floor and they get off, making their way down the hallway to yeosang’s room. “we got our midterms back… i didn’t do very well.”

seonghwa takes a step closer to yeosang to wrap an arm around his shoulders. “no matter what you do, i’m always proud of you.”

when yeosang looks back up at seonghwa, hand frozen on the key in the door, seonghwa wasn’t expecting yeosang’s eyes to be shiny with tears. yeosang is surprisingly seonghwa a lot today. 

“oh, yeosang,” seonghwa murmurs, pulling the smaller boy tight against his chest once again. he doesn’t need to say anything else, and yeosang doesn’t need to explain, as he falls apart against him, breaking down into tears and whimpers. 

seonghwa rubs yeosang’s shoulders, presses kisses against his face and in his hair, and yeosang melts deeper, deeper into relaxing. seonghwa smiles to himself, feeling a sense of pride in himself and yeosang that he trusts seonghwa enough to be vulnerable. 

“even if you completely failed your midterm, i’d still be so proud,” he murmurs against yeosang’s fluffy, dyed grey hair. “what was it, chemistry? maybe that’s not your strong suit. but you are so wonderful for so many other reasons.”

“i love you,” is all yeosang whispers, still slightly shaking from crying but mostly calm. “thank you, seonghwa.”

❧

the weekend is spent wonderfully. they spend almost all of it in, going out a few times for brunch or dinner, but they’re happy just being together. 

seonghwa catches up with yeosang’s three suitemates, wooyoung, san, and jongho and remembers to thank them profusely for letting him stay for the weekend. 

“it’s no problem, especially since you obviously make yeosang so happy,” jongho replies sincerely. the words have depth, seonghwa realizes, and he pointedly does not look at yeosang because he knows it would embarrass him. 

seonghwa wants to soak up all the time he has with yeosang. they eat lunch and dinner together in the dining hall the first day, and even if it is just partly shitty food eaten in a sticky booth, they’re together. they also, as hongjoong had crassly put it, “maybe fuck,” and seonghwa makes a point to thank jongho for evacuating he and yeosang’s shared room for the weekend. 

“is he the one who got you sick?” seonghwa asks curiously asks the first night after yeosang tells a story about the first time he was sexiled by jongho and his girlfriend. 

yeosang smiles amusedly and answers, “yeah. he’s like… kind of my best friend. besides wooyoung, but he’s kinda distracted by san these days.” seonghwa nods and makes a noise to announce that he’s listening, and for yeosang to go on. “he’s the youngest in our apartment, so he’s kind of shy when it comes to sharing his feelings, you know, like me. but i think because of that, we just get each other. it’s nice.”

seonghwa smiles back, rubbing a finger down yeosang’s cheek, across the birthmark by his eye. “i guess it’s okay he got you sick, then,” he replies. “i’m glad you have him.”

the remainder of the weekend is spent similarly, eating and talking and kissing, but mostly lazing around enjoying each other’s company. 

seonghwa learns, little by little, what was bothering yeosang so much. what _ is _bothering yeosang. a combination of a flood of difficult assignments in classes, a (hopefully brief) period of financial instability, and missing his loved ones and feeling lost without them. seonghwa can do nothing but assure yeosang that he’s doing fine, he’s thriving at school, and that there is a point to it all. he thinks yeosang tears up a little every time seonghwa says he’s proud of him, which only makes more warm emotions swell up in his chest. 

like all good things, the visit comes to an end early monday morning. they’d spent one last night together, twisted up in each other before yeosang had slipped on seonghwa’s t-shirt and fallen asleep, arm slung possessively over his chest. 

when seonghwa wakes, he’s enamored by the sight of a sleepy yeosang in his shirt, still deep asleep and pouting so cutely. seonghwa slips carefully out of bed and pulls on a fresh shirt and sweatpants, padding into the kitchen where san is already up drinking tea. 

“morning,” san greets him pleasantly. “ready to go?”

seonghwa laughs grimly. “not at all.”

san smiles like he understands, and maybe he does. “coffee?” he offers. 

“sure,” seonghwa responds as he sits at the island counter, san filling a mug of coffee for him. “does wooyoung drink coffee?”

san nods, a small smile on his face as he sits next to seonghwa, passing him his mug. “he’s not a morning person. it’s not hard to do, so i like to have it ready for him. yeosang and jongho will drink it from time to time, but usually they’re running out the door without time to even grab something for breakfast.”

seonghwa hums understandingly. “yeosang’s a heavy sleeper. sleeps like a baby, actually,” he says amusedly. 

“it was good to see him so… _ light _ this weekend,” san notes. “he’s been down, all of us can tell. he’s hard to get through to at times.”

“i know that all too well,” seonghwa replies, staring down into his cup of coffee. “you guys make him really happy, though, if it means anything.”

san nods, blinking and looking around the room. “it does. yeah. it means a lot.”

the floors creaks a bit, causing both of them to snap out of the trance they were starting to fall into and look up to figure out who the newcomer is. it’s yeosang creeping out of the hallway into the kitchen, and seonghwa stands to wrap him in a hug. he looks cold. 

“morning, sangie,” he greets, petting his soft bed head and regarding the adorable softness of his morning demeanor. 

yeosang smiles and pecks seonghwa’s lips before grimacing at his own morning breath. “my breath tastes like ass.”

“whoa, there,” san exclaims, eyes widened and ears plugged. 

“wasn’t gonna go into detail,” yeosang murmurs, rolling his eyes. he latches his hands on seonghwa’s shirt. “wake up wooyoung and jongho, would you? i want to eat breakfast all together with my four favorite people.”

seonghwa’s heart flutters and he can see san visibly soften at yeosang’s request and the reasoning for it. he pads into the hallway to his room, where wooyoung is fast asleep and jongho is probably scrolling through social media in the spare bed. 

now alone in the kitchen, yeosang tilts his head back and cranes his neck to press several soft kisses against seonghwa’s mouth. seonghwa returns them, continuously threading his fingers through yeosang’s fluffy bed hair. he laughs when they break apart. “your breath does kinda taste like ass. go brush your teeth.”

yeosang rolls his eyes again, seonghwa wanting to tease that they’ll get stuck like that if he’s not careful. he slowly backs away from seonghwa, hands still clutching his shirt, before he finally lets go to brush his teeth in the bathroom. 

san returns, dragging a sleepy, confused wooyoung with him, and jongho and yeosang join them, apparently having brushed their teeth together. “are you making breakfast?” wooyoung asks yeosang, voice all bleary and totally serious. 

pretending to hum thoughtfully, as if he's actually mulling the decision over, yeosang turns towards seonghwa. “babe?” he says cutely, batting his eyelashes expectantly. “would you make breakfast?”

who is seonghwa to say no? he sighs. “fine, but you have to help.”

yeosang nods enthusiastically, already pulling ingredients for an award winning breakfast. seonghwa smiles and kisses the top of his head before washing his hands and getting started on pancake batter. 

“anything we can do to help?” jongho asks, and seonghwa appreciates him for at least trying to sound excited. 

san, examining the way yeosang stands behind seonghwa and tries peering over his shoulder to see what he’s doing, wisely replies, “let’s set the table.”

the food takes longer than it should, mostly because yeosang’s definition of ‘help’ primarily includes him back hugging seonghwa and nuzzling his face against his shoulder. it’s odd to see yeosang so clingy, but seonghwa can’t really say he minds it. 

eventually they finish, bringing plates of food to the table to enjoy together as yeosang wanted. wooyoung, finally fully woken up, regards the meal with wide eyes. “you got really lucky, sangie.”

“hey,” comes san’s indignant interjection. “i can cook just fine!” 

jongho snorts. “keyword being _ just fine._” 

yeosang, however, is all heart eyes and shy smiles. he doesn’t need to speak for seonghwa to hear him loud and clear. 

wooyoung, san, and jongho volunteer for clean up duty so they can leave yeosang and seonghwa to say their goodbyes. each of yeosang’s roommate give seonghwa a hug before shooing them outside with seonghwa’s packed bag for privacy. 

they stand outside the room for a moment, just looking at each other. 

“we can say goodbye here, you don’t have to walk me the whole way down,” seonghwa says, just as yeosang’s saying, “let me walk you to your car.”

they laugh about it, before turning solemn. “i’ll walk you to your car,” yeosang murmurs softly. “please.” 

seonghwa can’t turn down that plea. “thanks for letting me stay at your place all weekend,” he says once they get inside an empty elevator. 

“thanks for coming to stay at my place,” yeosang counters, shoulder to shoulder with seonghwa. they’ll be here forever if they keep it up like this. “seriously, seonghwa. thank you.”

the elevator dings as it drops them off on the first floor. they both reluctantly exit, slowly making their way toward the door. neither talks much in the walk to the parking garage, but they hold hands while they walk, another uncommon behavior. 

standing outside the garage, yeosang loses his composure. he tucks himself back into seonghwa’s arms, a place he’d found himself quite comfortable in this weekend. his body trembles and his breaths are shaky. 

“you’re allowed to cry,” seonghwa tells him, and that’s what does it. seonghwa has now seen yeosang cry four times in three years, and two were just this weekend. sobs rack the smaller boy’s body, and all seonghwa can do is envelope him fully into his arms and let him let it all out. 

yeosang isn’t a messy or loud or dramatic crier. crying exhausts yeosang. it’s a quiet, full body experience and the tears just slip right out. “it’s so hard being without you,” yeosang whimpers, face presses into seonghwa’s neck. his voice is muffled but seonghwa somehow perfectly understands. 

they became friends during the summer before seonghwa’s senior year. there were a few mutual friends between them, and when they first starting talking, they immediately hit it off. yeosang, so soft spoken yet with so much personality, caught seonghwa’s attention, just as seonghwa’s maturity mixed with his charming playfulness drew yeosang in. anyone who knew them knew what was coming. the summer before seonghwa left for college the first time, they finally started dating. 

seonghwa had so many fears and anxieties about their relationship: he worried he’d hurt yeosang, neglect him or ignore him, and he worried that yeosang would get bored of having an only half available boyfriend, struggling to balance school work and personal relationships. there were troubles along the way, but they were able to communicate all of their concerns. even if that resulted in a fight, they at least put it out there. things got tricky once yeosang started college too.

“the only way this works,” seonghwa starts softly, hands on yeosang’s shoulders to put some space between them to lock eyes with the younger, “is if we communicate. never be afraid to reach out like you did thursday. i’m always here for you. i’m on your team, and i’m rooting for you. i’m always thinking of you.”

yeosang smiles weakly, biting his lip as he nods. “you always know what to say,” he remarks, a few stray tears still falling. 

“i just really know you,” seonghwa brags, placing a noisy kiss on yeosang’s temple before pulling him back into a tight hug. “and i know it’s hard. but that’s what makes me so proud of you.”

“thank you,” yeosang mutters, muffled again by seonghwa’s shirt. “thanks for being on my side.”

**Author's Note:**

> me: [posts this fic during a class im supposed to be in that i skipped] self care
> 
> leave kudos and a comment if u enjoyed, both/either are highly appreciated! <3
> 
> give me a follow on twitter!  
@[starryjaem](http://www.twitter.com/starryjaem)  



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